There's this woman that I've known for several years. We've talked from time to time. I find her attractive like to get to know her better. A while back, I sent her a friend request on, which she accepted. I know that she is single right now. Since I've known her for a while, it would seem kind of strange if I started flirting with her out of the blue. I've always been nice to her, but we are more acquaintances than friends. How can I start getting closer to her without seeming weird?How can I get closer to this woman?
its perfectly fine to flirt with her out of the blue!
just before you intensely flirt make your conversation grow more and more talkative. trust me im a girl and we dont mind when guys flirt with us out of the blue.
Friday, August 20, 2010
How to calm yourself down as a person?
well i'm a really hyper person and i think it's starting to piss people off. Like i'm always screaming and running up and tackling people and i hate it. at first people laughed but now they get really pissed when i do it. like yesterday i had the like air heads extreme things and i slapped my friend across the face with it as a joke but i think it hurt her and she got really pissed at me. ow can i stop being such a hyper *****? please tell meHow to calm yourself down as a person?
Exercise!!!How to calm yourself down as a person?
I agree with MissUsa, exercise, meditation sleep and a good diet. If you eat well, exercise regularly and get a solid sleep you will see things change. There are many forms of meditation, you could simply take some quiet time and read a book. Only you can find your quiet spot but when you do it will work for you, it works for me :)
all the things about exercising and all may help but you need to tell your physician. this is not normal behavior. don't freak out, you can get some really good help.
Exercise!!!How to calm yourself down as a person?
I agree with MissUsa, exercise, meditation sleep and a good diet. If you eat well, exercise regularly and get a solid sleep you will see things change. There are many forms of meditation, you could simply take some quiet time and read a book. Only you can find your quiet spot but when you do it will work for you, it works for me :)
all the things about exercising and all may help but you need to tell your physician. this is not normal behavior. don't freak out, you can get some really good help.
How creepy is my husband's relationship with his mother?
I met his mother when we flew up for the funeral of his aunt (his mom's sister). He had warned me that his family were ';kind of hillbillies'; Which I thought was no big deal as I didn't grow up privileged, don't have a great education, and certainly am not wealthy now.
When we got of the plane we went directly to his cousins house and upon entering i was confronted with several relatives of my husband's all of whom had been drinking. His mother briefly hugged me and the pushed me aside to greet her only child (my husband).
we all sat down and she immediately started demanding my husband buy her a new phone as the one he had just bought her wasn't the one she wanted. (mind you this was a very expensive phone and HE pays the bill) he apologized to her and jumped up to make her a cocktail.
the next ten minutes was spent with her practically sitting on his lap pretending not to understand how to work her phone and leaning in to his face and playing with his hair. I decided to go outside for a smoke and they followed. Where they begun to refer to each other using pet names like ';darling'; and ';sweetie';. She held onto his arm the entire time and lit his cigarettes for him.
Once inside again she went into a furious rant about how her surviving sister wanted to sing a song at the funeral, which was the next day, and she was not going to allow it, I innocently asked ';what song was she wanting to sing'; and my mother in law turned to me with the most venomous hate I have seen in ages and loudly said ';IF YOU ASK I WILL ***** SLAP YOU';
I don't come from a family that uses this kind of language, particularly around people we have just met, so I was horrified and said nothing the rest of the night.
At the funeral she insisted sitting between us with her and picked pieces of hair off his jacket and caressed his hair and face for a solid 30 minutes. while he continue to call her sweetie and darling and she to him.
It left me feeling sickened.
Now as it stands she calls constantly and has other members of his family call for her and its always about drama, like her trying to get him to beat up the boyfriend of some random other family member. he sends her money all the time and continues to pay for her cell phone yet I have to pay ALL of our household bills because he is ';broke';.How creepy is my husband's relationship with his mother?
girl your momma in law is a freak and did u talk to your husband about that cause it creepy. you should tell him to turn off his moms phone and help u with the billsHow creepy is my husband's relationship with his mother?
Was there a banjo playing in the back ground? If he is not contributing to the household expenses, kick it to the curb. Send him back to mama. It's that simple. Sorry if you had kids with this weirdo, sounds like there could be some inbreeding in the family tree.
super. creepy.
She either doesn't like you personally or doesn't like the idea that her son is being taken away by some other woman as she seems obssessed with her son. Weird.
Hella weird it is almost like they are the ones married
thats kinda weird.
BEYOND WEIRD...................I SMELL INCEST...........
HEY, HE GAVE YOU THE HEADS UP....
';At some point, the child realizes that there is a difference between their mother and their father. Around the same time they realize that they are more alike to one than the other. Thus the child acquires gender.
The child may also form some kind of erotic attachment to the parent of the opposite sex. Whilst their understanding of the full sexual act may be questioned, some kind of primitive physical sensations are felt when they regard and think about the parent in question.';
Some just don't grow up. Be afraid?? Perhaps you should, perhaps you should.
this is so creepy. she is very obsessed with her son, and he doesn't seem to mind. if not encourage it, however she feels towards him he obviously feels the same way. you need to talk to him about it and tell him how they are acting is romantic and not normal or appropriate and it freaks you out. if he gets deffensive, they may have had some sexual involvment.
When we got of the plane we went directly to his cousins house and upon entering i was confronted with several relatives of my husband's all of whom had been drinking. His mother briefly hugged me and the pushed me aside to greet her only child (my husband).
we all sat down and she immediately started demanding my husband buy her a new phone as the one he had just bought her wasn't the one she wanted. (mind you this was a very expensive phone and HE pays the bill) he apologized to her and jumped up to make her a cocktail.
the next ten minutes was spent with her practically sitting on his lap pretending not to understand how to work her phone and leaning in to his face and playing with his hair. I decided to go outside for a smoke and they followed. Where they begun to refer to each other using pet names like ';darling'; and ';sweetie';. She held onto his arm the entire time and lit his cigarettes for him.
Once inside again she went into a furious rant about how her surviving sister wanted to sing a song at the funeral, which was the next day, and she was not going to allow it, I innocently asked ';what song was she wanting to sing'; and my mother in law turned to me with the most venomous hate I have seen in ages and loudly said ';IF YOU ASK I WILL ***** SLAP YOU';
I don't come from a family that uses this kind of language, particularly around people we have just met, so I was horrified and said nothing the rest of the night.
At the funeral she insisted sitting between us with her and picked pieces of hair off his jacket and caressed his hair and face for a solid 30 minutes. while he continue to call her sweetie and darling and she to him.
It left me feeling sickened.
Now as it stands she calls constantly and has other members of his family call for her and its always about drama, like her trying to get him to beat up the boyfriend of some random other family member. he sends her money all the time and continues to pay for her cell phone yet I have to pay ALL of our household bills because he is ';broke';.How creepy is my husband's relationship with his mother?
girl your momma in law is a freak and did u talk to your husband about that cause it creepy. you should tell him to turn off his moms phone and help u with the billsHow creepy is my husband's relationship with his mother?
Was there a banjo playing in the back ground? If he is not contributing to the household expenses, kick it to the curb. Send him back to mama. It's that simple. Sorry if you had kids with this weirdo, sounds like there could be some inbreeding in the family tree.
super. creepy.
She either doesn't like you personally or doesn't like the idea that her son is being taken away by some other woman as she seems obssessed with her son. Weird.
Hella weird it is almost like they are the ones married
thats kinda weird.
BEYOND WEIRD...................I SMELL INCEST...........
HEY, HE GAVE YOU THE HEADS UP....
';At some point, the child realizes that there is a difference between their mother and their father. Around the same time they realize that they are more alike to one than the other. Thus the child acquires gender.
The child may also form some kind of erotic attachment to the parent of the opposite sex. Whilst their understanding of the full sexual act may be questioned, some kind of primitive physical sensations are felt when they regard and think about the parent in question.';
Some just don't grow up. Be afraid?? Perhaps you should, perhaps you should.
this is so creepy. she is very obsessed with her son, and he doesn't seem to mind. if not encourage it, however she feels towards him he obviously feels the same way. you need to talk to him about it and tell him how they are acting is romantic and not normal or appropriate and it freaks you out. if he gets deffensive, they may have had some sexual involvment.
How should I tell her this?
I'm going to tell this girl how I feel but what should I say I really like her and she's the most amazig person I met, just the sight of her makes my heart skip a beat and it'll be pounding when I know I'm going to see her
also do I tell her in person, on aim write it down?
It's super hard for me to talk to her... Andwe are best friends I hide it well but damnHow should I tell her this?
You just come up to her and say to her exactly what you typed up there.
';She's the most amazing person I met, just the sight of her makes my heart skip a beat, and it'll be pounding when I know I'm going to see her.';How should I tell her this?
You'll have to tell her in person, with confidence, and you might want to keep yourself from gushing. Mushy stuff is good with time, but it comes off as creepy.
You were probably planning some kind of rhetoric to tell her very currently, but I would advise against this. If you want good results, don't make it like a movie; be forward, keep it simple.
Good luck :)
You need to tell her in person exactly what you just wrote down. The worst thing that she can say is that she doesn't like like that and you can go on being friends but if someone where to tell me that i would give it a try. Just have confidence.
A letter would be sweet, If she likes that romantic stuff. If not, just tell her, girls don't wait forever. Tell her all of that, How your heart skips a beat when you look at her. And this is from a girl's perspective, so. Good luck, hope I helped.
tell her in person. or maybe on skype. say something like ';im glad we are friends, and i like you. and we might loose our friendship, but we could also gain so much more'; and see what see says. good luck i hope everything works out
Write a pretty long letter with you handwriting.... but start with a few pretty short and casual letters
Don't break her after that..
Don't indulge in a relationship with someone you don't know whether you would marry or not
Write it in a note! so cuuute!
just tell her straight out how you feel
but never do it over online or texting
always and trust me always do it in person
also do I tell her in person, on aim write it down?
It's super hard for me to talk to her... Andwe are best friends I hide it well but damnHow should I tell her this?
You just come up to her and say to her exactly what you typed up there.
';She's the most amazing person I met, just the sight of her makes my heart skip a beat, and it'll be pounding when I know I'm going to see her.';How should I tell her this?
You'll have to tell her in person, with confidence, and you might want to keep yourself from gushing. Mushy stuff is good with time, but it comes off as creepy.
You were probably planning some kind of rhetoric to tell her very currently, but I would advise against this. If you want good results, don't make it like a movie; be forward, keep it simple.
Good luck :)
You need to tell her in person exactly what you just wrote down. The worst thing that she can say is that she doesn't like like that and you can go on being friends but if someone where to tell me that i would give it a try. Just have confidence.
A letter would be sweet, If she likes that romantic stuff. If not, just tell her, girls don't wait forever. Tell her all of that, How your heart skips a beat when you look at her. And this is from a girl's perspective, so. Good luck, hope I helped.
tell her in person. or maybe on skype. say something like ';im glad we are friends, and i like you. and we might loose our friendship, but we could also gain so much more'; and see what see says. good luck i hope everything works out
Write a pretty long letter with you handwriting.... but start with a few pretty short and casual letters
Don't break her after that..
Don't indulge in a relationship with someone you don't know whether you would marry or not
Write it in a note! so cuuute!
just tell her straight out how you feel
but never do it over online or texting
always and trust me always do it in person
How to deal with an obsessive person?
I've known this girl for a decade, both in primary and secondary school [where we are now]. We never were close, until we began high school, where she started latching onto me. She started to copy my mannerisms and appearance, and use me for competition in everything from grades to friends. I confronted her about such, and during a brief period I spent at another school [for various reasons], she became rather bitter, and even violent at points- she tried to push me into a road. Upon my return, she tried to patch things back up.
As time has gone on, she's gotten worse. The girl's always been immature for her age and rather hyper [whereas I'm the opposite way], but now she's become obsessive and possessive to an almost dangerous point. I'm not allowed to talk to other people without her presence [she even talks for me at times], she's constantly trying to hug me or touch me [I hate physical things as such], she drains me. She never supports me, yet expects me to listen to all of her concerns. She's also blatantly homophobic in front of me, which she knows I'm a little sensitive about.
It's been on my mind even more lately, because friends and classmates keep commenting to me about her behaviour. She has been stirring up trouble and upsetting people for her own entertainment, and she lies through her teeth. My mother said the other day when she was in hysterical laughter that it was 'almost frightening'.
I tried to think of reasons why she'd be like this, any difficulties she might have had or be having. But she doesn't. She doesn't have a mental disorder, she has a happy, stable home life and a rather supportive family. She isn't being bullied either. Her life is average.
I've tried to confront her about things, but she never changes her ways. And I have to room and travel with her on a school trip, for 4 days. She's in all of my lessons, and although I've blocked her on social networking sites and instant messaging, I can't block her from real life.
I have no idea what to do. She won't leave me alone.How to deal with an obsessive person?
OK.this HAS to stop
You need to do something about this SOON,before it gets too out of hand to cope with.
At school,TALK to your teacher about how out of hand the situation is,and get your Mum to speak to the principal or headmaster/mistress of your school. Tell your teacher all of the points you've listed here and explain how upset it is making you and you just want it OVER with. At school, do not talk to her as much as usual. If you blank someone,they usually become bored and will stop.
If this DOESN'T work,then go to your teacher again until the problem is resolved. Also, with your Mum,speak to the principal, and an option of swapping classes? Try talking to your OTHER friends,explaining how much you really love them,and ask them to be your partner for things.When the obsessive girl asks to be your partner or sit next to you, politely tell them no sorry I am with so-and-so. This will maybe aggravate them and they can move on. Keep this GOING!
So DO these:
1.Speak to your Mum about seeing the principal.
2.Speak to your TEACHER.
3.Speak to your friends.
4.Just go up to the girl,AND BE BRUTAL! 'I do not want to spend MY WHOLE TIME WITH YOU!'
Hope this HELPS! :)How to deal with an obsessive person?
Ok listen here are some options:
1. Tell a teacher or an adult you trust.
2. Try to blank her out get some new friends and ignore her.
3. Move away from the area.
4. Go to a different school.
and maybe you shouldn't go on the trip with her..
I hope I helped! :D
Well you call her and tell her to back off and give you some space for a while! you should find some new friends and rub it in her face! no jk tell her how you feel, and if she still keeps bothering you tell her parents or talk to them about her.
is this a lovers spat?? or just some crazed girl?? either way I think you should put some distance between you two. she has issues and needs help..
I think you should try distancing from her and if she becomes violent you should talk to the principal and maybe get a restraining order she sounds kinda crazy.
She needs help.
She's jealous of you and not respecting your need for space
Stand up to her firmly and tell her the home-truths to her
I think generally she's greedy-selfish and unhappy within
her own life. Plus jealous as well.
I think she is mental hunni
You write: She doesn't have a mental disorder
I think you are wrong there. From what you've described, I think she does have a problem.
It is time for you (and your parents!) to bring this girl's problem to the attention of others . . . trusted teachers, your principal, your guidance counselor.
If the young lady is constantly touching you and will not allow you to talk with others, then you are certainly right to bring these concerns to the principal and request action. This does not sound like a safe situation for you at all.
sorry m8 dont know what to say.
perhaps u should approach her parents as a first call.
see what thier responce is and go from there .
good luck
I had a friend just like this, we were friends for years (my mum would say ';but you've been friends for 9 years, your like sisters.'; which made it harder to break up.my friend was VERY controlling and wouldnt like me talking to anyone else, she would be very clingy and be really embarressing. I tryed to ignore her to try and stop her being so clingy, but nothing worked. So in the end i just told her the truth, honesty is the best policy. hope everything goes alright (Y) :)
As time has gone on, she's gotten worse. The girl's always been immature for her age and rather hyper [whereas I'm the opposite way], but now she's become obsessive and possessive to an almost dangerous point. I'm not allowed to talk to other people without her presence [she even talks for me at times], she's constantly trying to hug me or touch me [I hate physical things as such], she drains me. She never supports me, yet expects me to listen to all of her concerns. She's also blatantly homophobic in front of me, which she knows I'm a little sensitive about.
It's been on my mind even more lately, because friends and classmates keep commenting to me about her behaviour. She has been stirring up trouble and upsetting people for her own entertainment, and she lies through her teeth. My mother said the other day when she was in hysterical laughter that it was 'almost frightening'.
I tried to think of reasons why she'd be like this, any difficulties she might have had or be having. But she doesn't. She doesn't have a mental disorder, she has a happy, stable home life and a rather supportive family. She isn't being bullied either. Her life is average.
I've tried to confront her about things, but she never changes her ways. And I have to room and travel with her on a school trip, for 4 days. She's in all of my lessons, and although I've blocked her on social networking sites and instant messaging, I can't block her from real life.
I have no idea what to do. She won't leave me alone.How to deal with an obsessive person?
OK.this HAS to stop
You need to do something about this SOON,before it gets too out of hand to cope with.
At school,TALK to your teacher about how out of hand the situation is,and get your Mum to speak to the principal or headmaster/mistress of your school. Tell your teacher all of the points you've listed here and explain how upset it is making you and you just want it OVER with. At school, do not talk to her as much as usual. If you blank someone,they usually become bored and will stop.
If this DOESN'T work,then go to your teacher again until the problem is resolved. Also, with your Mum,speak to the principal, and an option of swapping classes? Try talking to your OTHER friends,explaining how much you really love them,and ask them to be your partner for things.When the obsessive girl asks to be your partner or sit next to you, politely tell them no sorry I am with so-and-so. This will maybe aggravate them and they can move on. Keep this GOING!
So DO these:
1.Speak to your Mum about seeing the principal.
2.Speak to your TEACHER.
3.Speak to your friends.
4.Just go up to the girl,AND BE BRUTAL! 'I do not want to spend MY WHOLE TIME WITH YOU!'
Hope this HELPS! :)How to deal with an obsessive person?
Ok listen here are some options:
1. Tell a teacher or an adult you trust.
2. Try to blank her out get some new friends and ignore her.
3. Move away from the area.
4. Go to a different school.
and maybe you shouldn't go on the trip with her..
I hope I helped! :D
Well you call her and tell her to back off and give you some space for a while! you should find some new friends and rub it in her face! no jk tell her how you feel, and if she still keeps bothering you tell her parents or talk to them about her.
is this a lovers spat?? or just some crazed girl?? either way I think you should put some distance between you two. she has issues and needs help..
I think you should try distancing from her and if she becomes violent you should talk to the principal and maybe get a restraining order she sounds kinda crazy.
She needs help.
She's jealous of you and not respecting your need for space
Stand up to her firmly and tell her the home-truths to her
I think generally she's greedy-selfish and unhappy within
her own life. Plus jealous as well.
I think she is mental hunni
You write: She doesn't have a mental disorder
I think you are wrong there. From what you've described, I think she does have a problem.
It is time for you (and your parents!) to bring this girl's problem to the attention of others . . . trusted teachers, your principal, your guidance counselor.
If the young lady is constantly touching you and will not allow you to talk with others, then you are certainly right to bring these concerns to the principal and request action. This does not sound like a safe situation for you at all.
sorry m8 dont know what to say.
perhaps u should approach her parents as a first call.
see what thier responce is and go from there .
good luck
I had a friend just like this, we were friends for years (my mum would say ';but you've been friends for 9 years, your like sisters.'; which made it harder to break up.my friend was VERY controlling and wouldnt like me talking to anyone else, she would be very clingy and be really embarressing. I tryed to ignore her to try and stop her being so clingy, but nothing worked. So in the end i just told her the truth, honesty is the best policy. hope everything goes alright (Y) :)
How can you tell your getting clingy in a relationship?
i think my friend is addicted to her relationship...how can you tell if your girlfriend is getting too clingy? And how do you think you can prevent it?
Anyone with expeirence?How can you tell your getting clingy in a relationship?
Some people are clingy, others aren't. It's natural behaviour either way and a hard thing to try and change.
Some people associate great feelings with a person, therefore always want to be around them in order to feel good. That's why a lot of girls/guys become clingy.How can you tell your getting clingy in a relationship?
you know she's clingy if she says ';without you i would wanna die'; or anything with death. this shows she's desperate and hopes to get to your sensitive side to save the relationship. as far as preventing it i suggest saying, (even if it is false) ';i could never leave you'; this eliminates the desire for the girl to ';cling';
I don't really see clingy as a problem as long as they have been dating for a while, but it's just the feeling you get when your in a new relationship. I would say to you as my advice to stay out of this and let them handle their relationship as time goes on.
You can tell if they are constantly together! nonstop!
when they eat, shop, go to the coroner store...ect ect.
(and if the guy hates it expect tears)
if your friends talks about him all the time to the point where its really annoying or all she wants to do is call him.
if she talks about him 24/7
isnt happy unless shes with him
calls him constantly
blahblahblah.
Anyone with expeirence?How can you tell your getting clingy in a relationship?
Some people are clingy, others aren't. It's natural behaviour either way and a hard thing to try and change.
Some people associate great feelings with a person, therefore always want to be around them in order to feel good. That's why a lot of girls/guys become clingy.How can you tell your getting clingy in a relationship?
you know she's clingy if she says ';without you i would wanna die'; or anything with death. this shows she's desperate and hopes to get to your sensitive side to save the relationship. as far as preventing it i suggest saying, (even if it is false) ';i could never leave you'; this eliminates the desire for the girl to ';cling';
I don't really see clingy as a problem as long as they have been dating for a while, but it's just the feeling you get when your in a new relationship. I would say to you as my advice to stay out of this and let them handle their relationship as time goes on.
You can tell if they are constantly together! nonstop!
when they eat, shop, go to the coroner store...ect ect.
(and if the guy hates it expect tears)
if your friends talks about him all the time to the point where its really annoying or all she wants to do is call him.
if she talks about him 24/7
isnt happy unless shes with him
calls him constantly
blahblahblah.
How would you approach this situation without setting an unstable person off again?
I'll try and keep this as short as I can because it is complicated. I used to be friends with a lady who lives in this building where I live, but this is before I found out what kind of person she is.
We used to hang out for coffee mornings with the other neighbours, talk about work etc and got each other through some difficult times. We did what most friendly neighbours did; buying birthday gifts for each other etc
But one day I made a terrible mistake that goes against my usual sensibilities. I was always taught ';neither a borrower nor lender be'; and always stuck to that, but on this particular day a few years ao, I was in a jam. I had been laid off from my job and was stuck for the rent that month.
She offered to help out and I refused, saying that I would try to find another way to pay it (maybe sell a piece of furniture or other item) but she was very persisitant. I told her that I didn't want to do that because I didn't know how or when I could pay her back - she told me not to worry about that. She pushed and pushed telling me that I could pay it back whenever I could and that it didn't matter. So I caved and took the offer.
It was hard because I couldn't find a job right away and I was receiving unemployment money, so I paid her in dribs and drabs as best that I could each week. Then one day things changed. I received a note under my door asking for the rest of the money. I went down to see her and explained that I was doing my best to pay it back. She seemed okay with that. Then came emails and notes containing things like ';if you want a peaceful life, if I were you I would pay it back. I need the money';. Each time the notes became more threatening, insulting and nasty. I kept them all in case things got worse.
I landed the job that I have now, and was in training. She came into the store and threatened me and my job but she did it in a way that didn't draw attention to her, so no witnesses. When I got home, I called the police and showed them the notes. She was told to stay away from me by the police and the landlord - it didn't work. The notes kept coming. She was becoming a bully.
When my tax rebate came, I paid her the rest of her money. But that wasn't enough for her. I came home from my mother's birthday last year and there was another note under my door but it was just insulting and dragging up things from the past - she was picking a fight because she had nothing to pin on me anymore. I lost it. I was so tired of the notes day after day, month after month that I took the note and threw it down the stairs where he front door is and yelled ';Stop with the notes, you f***ing b*tch';. She came out and there was a massive argument and I was telling her that she's got her money so she has no reason to even talk to me anymore let alone give me notes. That was the end of that - or so I thought.
My cat died last week and people around her knew how upset I was and I received a sympathy card from her under my door. I sent a thank you note - because I was always taught that is the polite thing to do and now, in her mind, she thinks we are friends again. I think otherwise, because I think she is a sociopath and do not want to be friends with her again.
At the weekend, I received another note from her inviting me to take a break away somewhere in August! I do not want to, as you can imagine and I don't want to make excuses because I don't think that will make her stop. I want to tell her why I do not want to go without being nasty or insulting but don't know how to drive the message home.
Any reasonable suggestions are welcome - what would you do?
Thank you in advance and sorry that this is so long, but I had to let you know what I am dealing with here.How would you approach this situation without setting an unstable person off again?
I think you should tell her face to face that although you appreciate the offer you don't want to go because of the recent trouble between the two of you. Tell her your happy just to remain neighbours and then just walk away. Also i think it would be a good idea to have a friend with you just in case she says something nasty then you have a wittness. You have to be honest with her though. Don't say anything she could take the wrong way.
Good luck.How would you approach this situation without setting an unstable person off again?
i have no idear
You have my sympathy. Dealing with someone as erratic and unstable as that is very difficult indeed.
One near neighbour appeared to be friendly %26amp; full of fun when she first moved in, in reality she was totally unhinged. She eventually attacked her next door neighbour by throwing eggs at her rear windows, she then turned her attention to me, leaving disgusting messages in large print on her car outside my house. Fortunately she left the area.
A while later an absolute hell cat moved in next door, she was foul mouthed %26amp; I became a nervous wreck. Someone nearby heard her %26amp; reported her behaviour to the police %26amp; though she received several visits from them she still kept on. Eventually I reached the point where I could no longer cope with the abuse so we put the house up for sale %26amp; moved out- this was from a loively neighbourhood I might add.
Reconciliation doesn`t work with mindless people like that %26amp; the police %26amp; authorities can only do so much. Better to find other living quarters.
Ok well let me say this first WOW you have went threw a lot with this women, so here is my answer to you. One you are going to have to talk with her about this because she is inviting you places and wanting you to do stuff. There for you cant just leave the peace of just letting it slide and staying away as much as you can. Try to pick a good time when you know she is in a good mood, simply say so there is something I would like to talk to you about with out you getting mad. Just ask (I was wondering what really happened for you to be so angry with me). Tell her this is not to cause a fight I just want to understand what I did to make you so mad at me for you to act the way you did. After she answers just tell her how upset it made you and what your thoughts are. Or you can do it the easy way and just come right out and tell her its not a good idea for us to hang out anymore after all that. When dealing with someone like this those are really the only things you can do, but I wish you the best of luck on this hard road.
Wow, Deppy...that is scary! I've been in similar situations...not with borrowing money, but with befriending the wrong people. Once I went to lunch with a woman I considered a friend. She spent time telling me that I was a terrible person after I confided in her. At the time, I was very depressed and nearly suicidal. She made me cry in front of everyone in the restaurant. She did not apologize for her actions. I never want to hear from her again.
This person is obviously nuts. She needs help. You need to let your neighbor know that her behavior is unacceptable. Tell her: ';I appreciate the offer, but no thanks';.
After what happened with the threats and harassment, you shouldn't even THINK about going anywhere with her.
Be nice about it, but be firm. She sounds very unstable. Please be careful.
Id just tell her straight, and very importantly id do it with a very calm voice tone, and id also tell her to never offer you anything more, as you now know it has unseen strings,and also why you feel like this. And that you consider it not a good thing to cultivate a friendship. Better to leave it like that! be friendly but do not get involved anymore. good luck
you have to tell her that you were really hurt by what she did and there was alot of damage done, it will take some time to get to a place where you feel like you can trust her to respect your feelings.
also you have to look at what was your part in all of this?....... maybe she expected that if you could have found the money for rent somewhere else for the landlord in a week or whatever, , you could have found it for her. I am pretty sure she didnt feel too loved and hurt by the fact that she was a lesser priority than your landlord month after month.......... just saying....
Just inform her you can not afford it, and feel uncomfortable with going after all thats happened.simple as, if she starts to get nasty again you can then tell her that she has just proved your point.
We used to hang out for coffee mornings with the other neighbours, talk about work etc and got each other through some difficult times. We did what most friendly neighbours did; buying birthday gifts for each other etc
But one day I made a terrible mistake that goes against my usual sensibilities. I was always taught ';neither a borrower nor lender be'; and always stuck to that, but on this particular day a few years ao, I was in a jam. I had been laid off from my job and was stuck for the rent that month.
She offered to help out and I refused, saying that I would try to find another way to pay it (maybe sell a piece of furniture or other item) but she was very persisitant. I told her that I didn't want to do that because I didn't know how or when I could pay her back - she told me not to worry about that. She pushed and pushed telling me that I could pay it back whenever I could and that it didn't matter. So I caved and took the offer.
It was hard because I couldn't find a job right away and I was receiving unemployment money, so I paid her in dribs and drabs as best that I could each week. Then one day things changed. I received a note under my door asking for the rest of the money. I went down to see her and explained that I was doing my best to pay it back. She seemed okay with that. Then came emails and notes containing things like ';if you want a peaceful life, if I were you I would pay it back. I need the money';. Each time the notes became more threatening, insulting and nasty. I kept them all in case things got worse.
I landed the job that I have now, and was in training. She came into the store and threatened me and my job but she did it in a way that didn't draw attention to her, so no witnesses. When I got home, I called the police and showed them the notes. She was told to stay away from me by the police and the landlord - it didn't work. The notes kept coming. She was becoming a bully.
When my tax rebate came, I paid her the rest of her money. But that wasn't enough for her. I came home from my mother's birthday last year and there was another note under my door but it was just insulting and dragging up things from the past - she was picking a fight because she had nothing to pin on me anymore. I lost it. I was so tired of the notes day after day, month after month that I took the note and threw it down the stairs where he front door is and yelled ';Stop with the notes, you f***ing b*tch';. She came out and there was a massive argument and I was telling her that she's got her money so she has no reason to even talk to me anymore let alone give me notes. That was the end of that - or so I thought.
My cat died last week and people around her knew how upset I was and I received a sympathy card from her under my door. I sent a thank you note - because I was always taught that is the polite thing to do and now, in her mind, she thinks we are friends again. I think otherwise, because I think she is a sociopath and do not want to be friends with her again.
At the weekend, I received another note from her inviting me to take a break away somewhere in August! I do not want to, as you can imagine and I don't want to make excuses because I don't think that will make her stop. I want to tell her why I do not want to go without being nasty or insulting but don't know how to drive the message home.
Any reasonable suggestions are welcome - what would you do?
Thank you in advance and sorry that this is so long, but I had to let you know what I am dealing with here.How would you approach this situation without setting an unstable person off again?
I think you should tell her face to face that although you appreciate the offer you don't want to go because of the recent trouble between the two of you. Tell her your happy just to remain neighbours and then just walk away. Also i think it would be a good idea to have a friend with you just in case she says something nasty then you have a wittness. You have to be honest with her though. Don't say anything she could take the wrong way.
Good luck.How would you approach this situation without setting an unstable person off again?
i have no idear
You have my sympathy. Dealing with someone as erratic and unstable as that is very difficult indeed.
One near neighbour appeared to be friendly %26amp; full of fun when she first moved in, in reality she was totally unhinged. She eventually attacked her next door neighbour by throwing eggs at her rear windows, she then turned her attention to me, leaving disgusting messages in large print on her car outside my house. Fortunately she left the area.
A while later an absolute hell cat moved in next door, she was foul mouthed %26amp; I became a nervous wreck. Someone nearby heard her %26amp; reported her behaviour to the police %26amp; though she received several visits from them she still kept on. Eventually I reached the point where I could no longer cope with the abuse so we put the house up for sale %26amp; moved out- this was from a loively neighbourhood I might add.
Reconciliation doesn`t work with mindless people like that %26amp; the police %26amp; authorities can only do so much. Better to find other living quarters.
Ok well let me say this first WOW you have went threw a lot with this women, so here is my answer to you. One you are going to have to talk with her about this because she is inviting you places and wanting you to do stuff. There for you cant just leave the peace of just letting it slide and staying away as much as you can. Try to pick a good time when you know she is in a good mood, simply say so there is something I would like to talk to you about with out you getting mad. Just ask (I was wondering what really happened for you to be so angry with me). Tell her this is not to cause a fight I just want to understand what I did to make you so mad at me for you to act the way you did. After she answers just tell her how upset it made you and what your thoughts are. Or you can do it the easy way and just come right out and tell her its not a good idea for us to hang out anymore after all that. When dealing with someone like this those are really the only things you can do, but I wish you the best of luck on this hard road.
Wow, Deppy...that is scary! I've been in similar situations...not with borrowing money, but with befriending the wrong people. Once I went to lunch with a woman I considered a friend. She spent time telling me that I was a terrible person after I confided in her. At the time, I was very depressed and nearly suicidal. She made me cry in front of everyone in the restaurant. She did not apologize for her actions. I never want to hear from her again.
This person is obviously nuts. She needs help. You need to let your neighbor know that her behavior is unacceptable. Tell her: ';I appreciate the offer, but no thanks';.
After what happened with the threats and harassment, you shouldn't even THINK about going anywhere with her.
Be nice about it, but be firm. She sounds very unstable. Please be careful.
Id just tell her straight, and very importantly id do it with a very calm voice tone, and id also tell her to never offer you anything more, as you now know it has unseen strings,and also why you feel like this. And that you consider it not a good thing to cultivate a friendship. Better to leave it like that! be friendly but do not get involved anymore. good luck
you have to tell her that you were really hurt by what she did and there was alot of damage done, it will take some time to get to a place where you feel like you can trust her to respect your feelings.
also you have to look at what was your part in all of this?....... maybe she expected that if you could have found the money for rent somewhere else for the landlord in a week or whatever, , you could have found it for her. I am pretty sure she didnt feel too loved and hurt by the fact that she was a lesser priority than your landlord month after month.......... just saying....
Just inform her you can not afford it, and feel uncomfortable with going after all thats happened.simple as, if she starts to get nasty again you can then tell her that she has just proved your point.
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