How creepy is my husband's relationship with his mother?

I met his mother when we flew up for the funeral of his aunt (his mom's sister). He had warned me that his family were ';kind of hillbillies'; Which I thought was no big deal as I didn't grow up privileged, don't have a great education, and certainly am not wealthy now.


When we got of the plane we went directly to his cousins house and upon entering i was confronted with several relatives of my husband's all of whom had been drinking. His mother briefly hugged me and the pushed me aside to greet her only child (my husband).


we all sat down and she immediately started demanding my husband buy her a new phone as the one he had just bought her wasn't the one she wanted. (mind you this was a very expensive phone and HE pays the bill) he apologized to her and jumped up to make her a cocktail.


the next ten minutes was spent with her practically sitting on his lap pretending not to understand how to work her phone and leaning in to his face and playing with his hair. I decided to go outside for a smoke and they followed. Where they begun to refer to each other using pet names like ';darling'; and ';sweetie';. She held onto his arm the entire time and lit his cigarettes for him.


Once inside again she went into a furious rant about how her surviving sister wanted to sing a song at the funeral, which was the next day, and she was not going to allow it, I innocently asked ';what song was she wanting to sing'; and my mother in law turned to me with the most venomous hate I have seen in ages and loudly said ';IF YOU ASK I WILL ***** SLAP YOU';


I don't come from a family that uses this kind of language, particularly around people we have just met, so I was horrified and said nothing the rest of the night.


At the funeral she insisted on sitting between us and picked pieces of hair off his jacket and caressed his hair and face for a solid 30 minutes. while he continue to call her sweetie and darling.


It left me feeling sickened, and concerned. maybe I'm over reacting. I tried to point out to him that this seemed weird and he acted like I was crazy.How creepy is my husband's relationship with his mother?
I find a few things creepy here! 1 You married him with out getting to know his family. 2 She cursed and threatened you and your hubby said nothing. 3 She cursed and threatened you and you said nothing. 4. You and Hubby allowed her to rudely come and sit in between you. 6. All the rest of the extras. 5 You actually stayed through all of it.





Since they are so close I have no idea how you didn't get the chance to meet her before you got married. Either way yes it's weird and that would be my first and last time around them.How creepy is my husband's relationship with his mother?
Sounds kinda creepy to me. It sounds like you don't have to see them very often though so that's a plus. Maybe just try telling your husband how it makes you feel.
It seems this family may have been too much into the hillbilly corn liquor. Your husband's family isn't all there, and you should keep a close eye out on him too.
Yes, totally creepy! However, it's probably due to the fact that he's an only child and with him being a son - she's probably babied him his whole life. Still creepy.
Oh hell just call her Hillbilly Helen that was abducted by aliens and probed.
Its creepy that you married this guy without knowing his family!!!!
whoaaaaaaaaa


thats sick... your moms crazy and she probably instilled that behavior in him while he was growing up.. bleh!
Creepy is just the beginning. Ewwwwww!!!!!! I really, really don't even know what to say....lol


I keep coming back to EWWWWWWWW!!!!
Yeah - it sounds weird.





Peace.
It's no wonder your husband didn't want you to meet his family. You really moved fast on things and should have met his people first to get a full picture of who you were marrying. You have reason to feel sickened. Concerned is too late. Relax about it all now and live your life comfortably knowing you only have to see them on special occasions.
Haven't you heard of that old saying about try before you buy?





It is your fault you are in the situation you now find yourself. You married


without getting to know hubby. You also didn't know his family. Now


you wish to complain about it all.





We are hearing one side of the story here --- yours. You say he


acted like you were crazy. Maybe they all think that of you %26amp; that is


why they are treating you in this manner.
yeah you prolly should divorce him...





makes no sense being married to someone who thinks you are crazy about stuff like that. and with a mother in law who treats you like that on your first meeting.. and besides, why stay married to a man who allows you to meet his mom (who he apparently cares so much about *yuck*) only when there is a death in the family??? wtf?





sounds like this woman is effing you husband. sorry if that conclusion is crass but seriously, based on your story, that the OBVIOUS conclusion. something is wrong since he doesn't find it odd either. and why did he not say something when she yelled at you like that? your mom-inlaw has no respect and your husband sounds like he is cool with her offending you..





all i'm saying if you arent comfortable, just leave him.


and next time you get with a guy (i thought this was obvious but apparently not) MAKE SURE YOU MEET AT LEAST HIS PARENTS!! MEET HIS FAMILY!
I want this noted before I state my own opinion. I am not a trained therapist; I am a twenty year old female with a high school diploma. Therefore everything stated is just that a statement, an opinion.





Okay let’s begin.





I’m assuming that mother dearest doesn’t have another half; therefore I’m also assuming that she lives alone. And if she does have a form of a relationship, I’m assuming that she is unhappy.





The reason I stated the above is because the behavior that was described is typical behavior of an individual who is alone. You already said that your husband is her only child, which believe it or not plays a huge role in the way that she behaves.





And your husband is going to assume that you’re crazy for disapproving this relationship between him and his mother because well the relationship is “normal” between the two of them. Every action that is played out, the way she plays with his hair, the way she demands things and the way they have pet names for each other; by all definition is a normal thing for him.





He is mama’s baby.





There isn’t much that you can do to change this relationship because he doesn’t have a problem with it, you can say that you don’t want to be around his mother; but that’s about it. And you will be considered rude for not wanting to be around her.





Now to answer your question, on whether or not the relationship is creepy:


On a scale of 1 through 10; one being really creepy, ten being not creepy at all.


I would place this relationship at a six reason being, like I said this is very typical behavior a mother and a son have especially when the mother is a lonely old bat like she seems to be.





You can try to sit down and have an adult conversation about how their relationship makes you feel, make sure to state that is makes you uncomfortable, and sick. Or you can just stay away from this rude mother of his. And please let him know that being a push-over isn't an acceptable thing, even if its your mother. ';Would you jump off a bridge, if your friends told you too'; is the perfect expression for this except its ';Would you jump off a bridge, if your mother told you too';.





And his family doesn’t sound like hillbillies at all, it sounds like your typical dysfunctional family.


At the end of the day tho, the only thing that really truly matters is how you two feel about each other. If you love him, you will in-time learn to accept this relationship of his, like you have his other flaws.
No you are not, and many people marry without meeting the family until later. But once you marry him, his family is part of the deal. And this deal IS strange, you are not imagining it. It's sickening to me. My advice is to talk with a family therapist or psychologist to get a better perspective on what you are dealing with here.


Hopefully, you don't have to deal with her often. But in the meantime, I would explain this to a therapist and get some insight that can help you deal with it better.
wow bad image in my head. Is his father around? Was he there when he grew up? I take it your husband does not find this behavior unusual. How did the rest of the family act? What was your husbands reaction when your mother in-law spoke to you in that way? Next funeral or wedding sweetie and darling would be on their own, I would not go.
seems you've got a mommas boy on your hands the mother is clearly threatened by you. that kind of behavior is not right for any mother / son relationship. could get worse if she decides to move in with the both of you. i would put my foot down tell him that if he wants to go and visit her again then he goes alone. if she ever comes to visit set the record straight from the beginning who his wife is what her place is.





i don't date mommas boys any more for the reasons you have written here. i've never treated my sons as if they were babies fussing all over them as if changing a diaper.





911 DIVORCE COURT IN THE NEXT 5 YR'S OR LESS.
And you married this man without knowing his family or at least what they were all about? That was your mistake. Just the fact that your husband allowed his mother to raise her voice at you with such nasty and uncalled for remark, is enough to have made me get on the next plane back home and really do a deep soul search about this man. As for the sitting on his lap, sitting between you two, looking at you with hatred, the caressing and all that stuff, I believe there is something more than meets the eyes. What did baby bear do when his mother sat in between you two?
She doesn't seem to have a whole lot of class. She seems pathetic. I would try to just avoid her as much as possible. My mil has made my husband buy things for her, and always makes him feel sorry for them about how poor they are - while they have a lot more than we do. Some mothers just want to control their son, and jealous that they made a life with a woman and don't spend their lives catering to them. I don't understand either. It's weird.